Too Much of a Good Thing by J.J. Murray

Author:J.J. Murray
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Kensington Publishing Corp.
Published: 2011-12-21T16:00:00+00:00

52

Shawna

While my clothes get crushed to death and wrinkled beyond repair, we leave early in the morning for Atlanta.

I hope Joe knows how to iron. And even if he doesn’t, he is going to learn.

The first part of the trip is uneventful. The boys are wired into their Game Boys, Toni colors, Rose reads, and Crystal listens to her Walkman.

In other words, no bonding is taking place.

When we near Radford, about forty miles away from Roanoke, Junior breaks the silence with some Swahili.

“Pole, pole ndiyo mwendo,” he says.

“You’re not going to do that all the way to A-T-L, are you?” Crystal asks.

“Tell everybody what it means, Junior,” I say, hoping it will start a discussion.

“It means ‘slowly, slowly is indeed the long journey,’” Junior says.

“Kind of like enjoy the ride, huh?” I ask Jimmy.

Jimmy is already gone into the handheld video netherworld.

I smile at Junior. “Got any more Swahili you want to teach us?”

Junior beams and says, “Ngalawa na iwe juu wimbi chini. ‘May the boat be on top, the wave below.’”

“This is a boat,” Crystal says.

“The love boat,” Joe sings. Badly.

Rose gasps, “Daddy, please don’t sing.”

I kind of agree, but ... “Junior, do you have a saying for Rose?”

Junior looks at Rose carefully. “Hmm. Ah. Yai halia tamii kuku.”

“I’m not cuckoo,” Rose says in a huff.

It sounded like cuckoo to me, too.

“It means ‘an egg never sits on a hen,’” Junior says.

Ahh. I like that one. I don’t get it, but it sounds ... Oh. Oh, no. If it means “respect your elders,” Junior is in trouble.

“An egg can’t sit on a hen, Junior,” Rose says. “It’s impossible.”

Junior raises his eyebrows. “You are the egg, and your dad is the hen.”

Rose rolls her eyes. “Thanks a lot, Junior.”

“Mseme kweli nana wajoli,” Junior adds.

“Mama,” Crystal says, “will you please make him stop? He’s giving me a headache.”

I ignore Crystal. I intend to ignore her this entire trip if she really plans on badmouthing Joe. “Junior, what’s that one mean?”

“‘The speaker of truth has no friends,’” he says.

So true! I have to get to Africa. Just setting foot there and learning these sayings will make me wiser.

“Mommy,” Toni says in that voice, which can only mean ... “I have to pee.”

Jimmy looks up. “So do I.”

Joe sighs. “The next rest area is in thirty miles.”

“Mommy,” Toni says in a shriller voice, which can only mean ... “I got to go bad.”

Jimmy leans forward and holds his stomach. “Me, too.”

“Joe, find us a gas station, please,” I say.

“Why?” Joe asks.

“Jimmy’s holding his stomach.”

Joe takes the very next exit, but not before Jimmy leaves a noxious cloud of funk behind him in the van. It’s so bad that I still smell it all the way to South Carolina. When we stop for gas there, I buy several hanging air fresheners, but I still smell that funk!

After we’re back on the road, once again, no one is interacting. Joe doesn’t seem to mind. Traffic is light, the ride is fairly smooth, no one is fussing, no bladders are about to burst, no .

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